[Swag Check] The K-Pop Haze Edition
“I can’t breathe!”
G-Dragon probably never thought that these lyrics to his 2009 song Breathe would take on such literal meaning this coming Saturday. Kwon leader is slated to take Malaysian VIPs by storm at the Stadium Nasional Bukit Jalil in Kuala Lumpur as part of his One of a Kind World Tour, but will fans and GD himself be able to stay clearheaded throughout the outdoor concert under worsening haze conditions?
While Swag Check can’t give out free N95 masks to all of our readers feeling under the weather because of the terrible haze (trust us, we would if we could!), what we can do is to help you guys navigate through this difficult time by giving you some tips to survive the haze-filled months ahead. Which K-Pop celebrity is the new poster girl or boy for correct haze prevention techniques? Who should you not learn from if you want to stay alive even when PSI hits a whopping 500? Read on to find out more!
Ah, the good old days when we could actually see parts of blue and clouds in the sky… when PSI is nonexistent, the only mask you should put on should be of the moisturising kind. A flawless complexion is the best makeup!
This range is what I affectionately call the “act yige” range. For clueless foreign readers, “act yige” is Singlish slang for “to be pretentious”. Yeah, there are toxins in the air, but I can’t really see and smell it, but I’m gonna wear that cute mask I bought from Everland in Korea last winter and Instagram my selca of my masked mug. ^^ Oh, and hashtag it with #sghaze. And #ootd. And maybe #instalike.
The range when people start to get a little concerned and worried. My eyes feel so dry! I think the haze is getting really bad, I can smell the smoke in the air! I’ve started to cough too! Everyone, stay indoors as much as possible! When PSI hits hits this unhealthy range, it’s time to ditch cute for functional and to wear your surgical masks when running errands outside.
Also known as the range when people go absolutely batshit, in real life and on every single possible social media platform. MY EYES!!!! THEY BURN!!!!! MY LUNGS!!!!! THEY BURN MORE!!!!!! WHY ARE THE N95s OUT OF STOCK EVERYWHERE!!!! MY FRIEND’S MOTHER’S NEPHEW’S SON WHO KNOWS SOMEONE WHO USED TO WORK IN AN OFFICE NEXT TO THE OLD NATIONAL ENVIRONMENT AGENCY BUILDING THAT YOU SHOULD LOCK ALL THE WINDOWS AND BURY YOURSELF UNDER 5 BLANKNETS TO PREVENT YOURSELF FROM BREATHING IN EVIL TOXINS!!! DO YOU HAVE FRIENDS IN (INSERT RANDOM FARFLUNG COUNTRY) THAT CAN SEND ME 35 BOXES OF N95 MASKS??? CAN WE ORGANISE A FLASHMOB TO DO THE RAIN DANCE??!?!?!?
Jokes aside, try to stay indoors as much as possible, wear your surgical mask like a second skin if you have to head outdoors, and most importantly, stay healthy. “I need an airbag…”